Sigh. I made the huge error of going to the official academic-year-opening-ceremonies the other day. It was all too ultra-formal for me. No jugglers, no fire-eaters, no sudden interruptions, no joy, no comedy — only tedium, and terror when the chancellor, our father-figure, delivered his bag of horrifying speculation about future reforms.
(Here is where I lose my grip on reality.)
Maybe it was because his formal wear included a huge Darth Vader-ish black cloak, and he had to speak accordingly: “I would like to talk of the wonders of academic freedom, but… There are also great dangers in the university combination shuffle reform… The future is uncertain, students… You must trust me. There is no escape. Don’t make me destroy you. Students, you do not yet realize your importance. You’ve only begun to discover your power. Join me and I will complete your training. With our combined strength we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.”
Some unrest in the audience, as the new students are unfamiliar with the academic mindset.
“If you only knew the power of the Dark Side.”
A voice from the audience: “Uh, what are you saying?”
“Look, I am your father.”
…
I don’t know how a piece on the opening ceremonies spiraled into a bad Star Wars parody. It might be just the cloak: from behind he looks just like D.V. with his helmet off. Now that I think about it, there are several professors that look quite a bit like Yoda.
Does this mean that the department of physics and mathematics is the academic equivalent of the stinking marshes of Dagobah?
It fits! It all fits so well. No wonder that when I try to ask something of my advisor, he replies: “The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see, the future is.”
Well, returning to the remarks of the chancellor, maybe we need a ruthlessly psychopathic leader if there is, in the future, a great disturbance in the Funding.
