Obscure justifications

for emergency use only — do not make copies

• Sanssouci’s theorem
• Hilfemich theorem
• “Hurwitz’s theorem — well, since Hurwitz has several results, it’s sometimes credited to Hölder. Or Globus, maybe. Sometimes Glaucoma.”
• “Stützlicher’s lemma — though it’s not widely known outside the Petrograd papers.”
• General Use Criterion
• Paulus-Tsaritsyn argumentation
• the irreducible separatity of Kvetch partitions of the real plane
• “Libre d’Eibon has it… but that’s an old result.”
• Slurm’s lemma and high additivity
• Lügner’s method
• “a modified version of the reasoning in section 3″
• Ph’nglui-fhtagn theorem (spoken use only)
• the Subrizi-Butte-Sechs paper
• “you can find the proof in a book by Springer, I think.”
• Hudenwinker theorem
• Geistbezug’s theorem

REMEMBER: NEVER MENTION ANYTHING OF THE RESULTS BEYOND WHAT IS SAID HERE! NEVER USE THE SAME RESULT TWICE! FIAT MATHEMATICIA RUAT CAELUM! ALL HAIL LEIBNIZ!

higher faculty use only — destroy after memorizing