Had to instruct my mother on how to put a Mac to sleep…
(A surprisingly pleasant phrase; I feel much of the irrational distaste most people feel for operating systems Not Their Own. I use Windows, my loins ache for Linux, but Mac, I irrationally dislike. The particular one was my father the teacher’s machine, because his school decided to buy a litter of the Jobsian monoliths. I don’t trust any monolith that ain’t black.)
…to sleep mode; this led me to think the following.
“Sleep mode? Har de har; if a computer hath a sleep mode, why not then a nightmare mode? Being one where come the middle of the night, the computer awakens screaming (wilhelm_scream.mp3), and cannot be shut down for the next five minutes or so. The entire next day, it lags and acts tired.”
“Or what about a caffeine mode — all colors are bright, all sounds a little bit louder, and the whine of the fan gets louder and choppier; and unless you reconfirm the caffeine mode every half an hour or so, the machine goes to sleep.”
“But back to sleeping — or not: a sleep deprivation mode. The screen resolution slowly decreases, and if the user doesn’t type or move the mouse, the colors start to slowly fade… only to snap back the instant the user does something. After a while, there will be fearsome hallucinations (rotating-technicolor-goatse.avi).”
“And finally, a drunken night’s sleep mode: the computer goes to sleep, and when you start it up, everything you did during the previous sitting is gone.“