Christian politician: Gays are icky.
Man on the street #1: Damn right! And what about those foreigners?
Newspaper columnist: What the jocular expression is wrong with you people? The future will be as horrified by our unease about gays as we are horrified by the state of women a few generations back. The Bible: it’s just a book. Act like adults, people, please.
Man on the street #2: Right on!
Man on the street #3: “Act like adults”? There’ll be no adult stuff for my kids! Fie, the depraved perverts, wanting to expose my kids to adult stuff!
Archbishop: Well, my official position as the Supreme Mugwump of the Bishopsgamot, and the position of the Wizensynod also, is that gayness is not an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. Not even if they do live together, and do the thing you know. We’re not even against a quick blessing on behalf of the couple… but no marriage! No! I mean, of course a civil union, that’s not our business, but the church, oh so sorry, can’t marry them as a man and a woman are married. Not because we’re prejudiced or pre-modern! But because there are many voices in the church and we must proceed with small very slow steps and patience and tolerance for all viewpoints and please don’t leave. We need you nice modern people against those… (in a hoarse whisper) others.
Bishop: What he said. Also, that’s what He said.
Interviewer: Could you ever contemplate leaving the church?
Man on the street #4: Well at the present I have no plans for that.
Interviewer: You didn’t answer the… oh what the fuck, here’s Annette with the weather.
Christian politician: Well, what people have missed is I spoke in several roles. As a politician I was presenting my party’s line that gays are icky if they are allowed to be like normal people. As just a member of the party I was saying that’s what the Bible says. And as a private Christian person I was saying them faggits will burn… sorry, I mean the Bible does condemn gayness for it is icky in the eyes of the Lord. Read the Book, people, for it is a fiery good Book. And three roles; hey, that’s a Trinity! How Christian of me. Speaking in three persons I obviously have three times the freedom of speech we all have and need. Or is the believing Christian being persecuted and silenced? Yes! I leave it to the reader to decide. And if the archbishop wants to get all autocratic and actually do something, bring it on! We’ll see what kind of an abomination of desolation that’ll bring. Which is of course all said in peace and love. Peace and love!
Archbishop: …please shut up; you’re not talking for us.
Bishop: Well, not for all of us. But please don’t leave us.
Christian politician: I’m being repressed! And I have gay friends and all!
* * *
All ideas expressed are more or less picked from the coverage of the current brouhaha. Even the gay friends line, and oh how I hope I was just including that as a cliche stupidity, but no. Päivi Räsänen, the more she opens her mouth the less I think of her.
Most times it’s fairly nice that Finns don’t speak. And all the time it’s nice the vast majority of Finns don’t care a fig about religion whether they belong to the church or not.
In other news, by Sunday’s figures 18 000 people (Edit: Monday morning, 11 am: 20 000!) have left the church after the unfortunate talk show last Tuesday. Estimated losses in tax money to the church in the five to eight million range. Mwa ha ha!
Edit: And Jouko Piho, a guy that’s running to be elected as a Christian Democrat party (KD, c. 5%) member of the Parliament has written a concurring opinion that’s Pat Robertson meets Alex Jones… in a world gone mad for gay! Do you know gays are a criminal sickness against God that Satan and the New World Order are normalizing to rule the world? (“Nothing happens without a reason and a motivation.”) I’m not an attentive observer, but I’ve never seen such strong crazy in Finnish politics. Google Translate gives a flavor; this guy is so out of Finnish mainstream he’s starting to look crazy even by international standards.
One more edit, in clarification: This Piho person apparently has “a permission to campaign” but is not yet an official candidate for KD. And after that outburst he may not be. (Though it’s fun to see a KD official commenting that a claim of homosexuality as a NWO conspiracy is… “just his opinion”. Politicians don’t indeed express more than they need to; then again, I guess “batshit insane” is beyond the pale of most news media.)