Audible!

So. The day before yesterday mentioned the Illuminatus! trilogy, and my thought that it really was a shame there wasn’t an audiobook (especially unabridged) version of it.

And then I was proved wrong: Deepleaf Productions had done an unabridged version of the trilogy, and that same version was on sale at Audible.co.uk which seemed approachable, though DRM-infested.

Below’s the chronicle of the next few hours.

* * *

• Boggles.
• Picks jaw off the floor.
• Says “Eww”, wipes the jaw with a cloth, considers sweeping the floors, and goes to Audible instead.
• Googles for “Audible DRM”; laughs evilly.
• Becomes 13-and-so pounds lighter; sighs, as this is a matter of money, not weight.
• Shakes fist at Audible; invokes Yog-Sothoth; installs iTunes; installs Audible Download Manager; dies a little inside; clicks “Download”.
• “Estimated download time 1 h 33 min”; the rate, and one’s mood, improve a bit after that.
• Sees iTunes works, and the downloaded file (part 1/2 of Eye in the Pyramid) plays; says “Righty-o!” and downloads the other.
• Downloads something that promises to (legally!) strip away the asinine DRM with no fuss; sees that the program doth indeed do so, but being shareware only with the first 60 seconds of the file. The file being over six and a half hours in length, this does not improve one’s mood. Uninstallation, careful bug-sweeps and further invoking of Yog-Sothoth follow.
• Plunks in a blank CD; mutters to self that “A-ha! We’re in the same old spot again, old chap! And while blank CDs cost a bit, they’re cheap, and they’re nowhere near the price of one’s sanity, which be what DRM cuts into!”
• After six CDs and some maniacal giggling (first half of the Eye in the Pyramid done! Tee-hee!), begins ripping those from the newly made pure-audio CDs into the computer as mp3:s; reconsiders using some more hi-tech solution, but thinks the existence of these CDs as a back-up is… well, idiotic given the possibility of mp3 backups, but an excuse anyway. Most often any excuse, no matter how stupid, will do to shirk away from installing yet another program.
• Besides, by now the awareness intrudes that various podcasters have then and again mentioned something called “reviews on iTunes” and giving them; and now that one’s only real excuse has evaporated, something clearly needs to be done about the matter.
• But, before that, some listening; and tomorrow, a purchase of more blank CDs, and the other volumes of Illuminatus!. (Dang, the exclamation-mark and dots in various names really uglify one’s punctuation.)
• Finally, this thought intrudes: given the narrative eccentricity of the trilogy (and didn’t that sound high and mighty!), and the fact that iTunes decided to burn the book in eight-minute chunks, one could get not altogether unpleasant results by enabling shuffle…

* * *

Well, now. The Lord of the Rings, the Watchmen, Spider-Man and even (in an irritatingly deviant a way) Transformers and G.I. Joe have been turned into movies, and A Song of Ice and Fire is turning, it seems, into a TV mini-series. This (and a host of other Marvel projects) means most of my favorites of that sort from childhood and youth have been made into movies; even things like the Lord of the Rings and the Watchmen that I’d always thought utterly unfilmable (and in those cases, the results were the best!).

Well, all, with one significant gap.

Now, only the Illuminatus! trilogy remains. (Peter Jackson, do you have anything on the horizon?)

Six words stories continued

Continuing on the previous post‘s idea of six-word stories, here’s a mini horror-novel I just cooked up:

Too many clowns. They have knives.

Would anyone be interested in making a movie adaptation of this? Six seconds long, maybe?

And speaking of movies, I would really, really like to see — a movie adaptation of Illuminatus! by Terry Gilliam.

Then again, such an adaptation would probably be banned as a psychoactive drug, and then I’d become a criminal.

And of movies — well, for those of you who adore the Life of Brian, I offer this hymn.

Gourdines, let us pray.
Haummm-aummm, yeah yeah
We praise Brian, who isn’t here right now
Oh Brian, out of your gourd, such gifts
Pearls of wisdom spill from your lips
In a frothing stream bubbling with warmth
Oh Brian, out of your gourd, all good things come
We’d like to be therefrom too, but, oh the cruelty,
This imperfect world of nasty, sharp, evil things
Hath stoned us out of your gourd, exiled, oh woe.

Plague mask of Eris

Once upon a time, there were Greeks. They had imaginary Gods, and one of these Gods was a Goddess called Eris.

This seeming sexual dichotomy suited her fine, for s/he was a Goddess of Discord, and was not a Goddess of Discord, being imaginary. Similarly she was (not) a Goddess of Strife.