A communique from the accomodationists

We the undersigned wish to proclaim our conviction that there is no conflict between science and astrology.

This supposed conflict is entirely made up and manufactured by vicious, militant a-astrologists and “skeptics” such as the infamously rabid Richard Dawkins, the necrophagously leprous PZ Myers, and the “scientist” Leonhardt Scarequote.

As practising, highly trained scientists, we the undersigned see no conflict in being scientists and devout astrologers. The two are equally worthy and absolutely separately magisterial ways of knowing: astrology will not tell us how to suture wounds, and science will not tell when to avoid going to town lest you suffer those wounds from walking under a ladder with hammer-dropping constructionpersons on it. (The second undersigned wishes to add that one ignores astrology at his own peril.) Astrology answers the Big Questions of “Why?” and “Where to go?” and “What to wear?” — despite the empty protests of these strangely chicken-like protractors, science cannot and never will have an answer to any of those Deep Questions of Import!

Astrology is not, and has never pretended to be, a scientific pursuit. Rather it is an ever-moving elegant practice of man’s intuitions of the Heavens and the insolution riddle of planetary orbits; a beautiful, uplifting and spiritually metaphorically inspiring pursuit that forms an inseparable part of the lives of diverse millions all over the world of all races and colors, many of them women and children and owners of big-eyed cute pets. These, these are the peaceful, nice and good people the likes of “Dr.” Scarequote and their Hun-like kin so cavalierly mock and harass, all for nothing but daring to take a stand for the self-evident fact that science does not have all the answers, and never will!

Also, study of astrology is insulting and evil. Stop it right now. You can’t touch this.

Wishing the debate can be continued with civility and openness, and that you scientist types shut the fuck up, sincerely and full of love and hearts and stars, yours,

Stevie (name removed),
Salem’s Psychic Car Engineering and Repair Shoppe

Stephen (name removed),
St. Zodiac of San Francisco Salon of Astrology

As the third undersigned I wish to say that though I do not personally share the astrological conviction, I tremendously respect those that have received that gift, and see no biggie in their demands. Chill out, people, give out some respect and love, and stop being so critical.

Scientists should sit up and notice people won’t like them if they keep being such humongous nerds. I of course am not one, but boy, that Scarequote, is he a disgusting geek or what? Doesn’t he understand he won’t get paid unless he says what people want to hear? Talk about being unrealistic!

It’s all about the image, baby. It’s not the lenses but the frames that matter.

St. (name removed),
Prominent Journalist-Scientist-Blogger-Author

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s