Statecraft

Now from the makers of Warcraft, Warcraft II, World of Warcraft and Starcraft comes an exciting new game —

STATECRAFT!

Every player a king!

Beat your external enemies into submission with powerful units like the Private Military Contractor, the Well-Equipped Axe-Thrower, the Security Consultant Gone Wild, and the mind-warping powerhouse the Diplomatic Jargoneer!

Fight against horrifying and culturally accurate enemies such as the Jungle Island of the Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys, the Generic Middle-Eastern State, Latveria, Syldavia, Ruritania, Finland, and the Evil Little Town Called Hell, Norway! Show the evil tyrants — each surgically implanted with Hitler’s brain by evil Darwinists! — who’s the best and the most!

Dazzle your followers into adoration and adulation with stunning troops such as the dapper Wiretapper, the alert Alarmist, the ballsy Secret Policeman, and the arcane Summoner of Moral Outrage! (To say nothing of the reality-bending powers of the Cultist of Office and Personality!)

Build game-enhancing structures such as the Patriotic Log Cabin, the Church of the Great Leader, and the Blatantly Politicized Memorial! Collect fundamental resources such as lumber, oil, gold, warm bodies and information to feed your war machine — or rob your sluggardly enemy of his resources!

Utilize synergistic elemental initiatives such as a Fiery Propaganda Blast, a Watery Appeal to Emotion, a Down-to-Earth Oversimplification of Complex Issues, and a Shooting Air Rather Than Pulling Out Gambit of War!

Be surprised by exciting game-changers such as an Insane Policy Posse, a blast of Unlimited Executive Authority (10 turns), a Morning Unconstitutional, or Chaos In and Out of the Closet! And surprise your enemies with secret projects such as the harsh Law of the Dark Side and the wicked cool No Geneva, No Mercy!

Earn the respect and co-operation… or malice and hostility! of several unique real-world-based characters such as Darth Cheney, Pope Sidious XVI, the Blair Minister Project, and the Dalai Lama. (Due to contractual difficulties several of the names have been changed. Some characters have been voiced by highly trained actors.)

And an exciting, game-balancing economic engine that will keep you on the edge of your seat for days… and nights! This job ain’t easy to do, but don’t mean you can’t have fun doin’ it!

* * *

And sometimes I wonder why I read books I know will make me froth at the mouth and channel it into intemperate misanthropic ravings like this.

2 Responses to “Statecraft”

  1. Alo Says:

    Ace post, love your blog

  2. wine rack iron Says:

    Im not certain I totally concur along with you about this post. However I’m always amenable to fresh concepts. Might need to think about it. Useful site anyway.

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