Two short and tasteless bits

A new study of war-related computer games finds they contain acts that, in real life, would be war crimes. As a consequence, a whole lot of people have taken their inner sniffy old lady for an outing.

Me myself I like my violent entertainment, and though in real life I’m the mildest person you’d ever meet, I say they’ll take my Derrick away when they pry it from my dead, cold hands!

Same for my Agatha Christies.

And Happy Tree Friends.

Don’t have many computer games at the moment, but if I had, no-one would regulate them out either.

Why, I even reserve the right to commit the ultimate horrible-bad thing in the eyes of these censor-happy loons, the right to seek out and consume detail-rich New Testament snuff porn, if I feel like it. I’m sure there’s fan fiction somewhere; please don’t give me links. I know the way to temptation and Rule 34 already.

(I don’t feel like that right now, but I reserve the right; it’s no-one else’s business and nothing that would drive me out seeking carpenters to crucify. (Come to think of that, isn’t tentacle porn the safest kind — I’ll be damned if I some deranged type can emulate that!) And if mere entertainment is denied, I can always go for fine art; the link is to something I find utterly inoffensive, and actually rather sweet; a judge in 1976 found it “blasphemous libel”.)

The report also suggests the games might be as kind as to point out the criminal aspects of the acts committed — I can’t think of anything reading that except a young gamer shouting “All in thirty seconds! Arson, Larceny, Double Homicide, Perjury, Property Theft and Triple Corpse Desecration with Libelous Blasphemy — woo! SUPER COMBO DESTRUCTION!”

(Then his friend says “Next, Misprision of Felony and Negligent Homicide! Gotta get ’em all!”)

(Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

That’s a step away from a level-ending screen that reads “Crimes against humanity 14/26 DO BETTER NEXT TIME WORM” — which, while something that would be curious and fresh and harmless, isn’t what I gather these censorious types want.

* * *

And now for something completely different.

According to this nice little calculator, if the Sun was a centimeter across, the Earth would be a meter away, and the speed of light would be 2 mm/sec.

A light year would be 70 kilometers.

And — remember that the Sun’s a centimeter across, and the Earth is a meter away — a red giant star would be four meters across. Cor blimey, guv’nor.

I can somehow handle the idea that on this scale the closest star (Alpha Centauri) is 290 kilometers away; but to think that the galactic center is still 1.9 million kilometers away… sorry, my brain is broken again.

And don’t even think about how in addition to these few specks, all else is Emptiness.

Mohammed in a crapper*, that’s perspective. And there’s wordless horror in that cosmic awe, too.

* * *

* : What? I grew tired of “Christ on a crapper” and “Buddha in a pine tree”; to say nothing of “Zoroaster onna stick”, “Joseph Smith in a furry convention”, “Mother Teresa behind the glove compartment (soon a major Japanese horror movie)”, “Zeus in the pews”, “Torak at the urologist’s” and “Jim Jones in Guyana!” Varied blasphemous oaths, you know?

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