The Adventures of Young Lucifer

So, over at Pharyngula PZ said this:

“For the sake of completeness, I’ll mention that another way to reconcile the Bible with an old earth is the Gap Theory. This idea states that there is an undescribed gap in the history of Genesis 1, right after ‘God created the heaven and earth’, in which the earth was riven with catastrophe and chaos, when there were fallen angels and giants and dragons fighting against the legions of heaven, and during which geology happened. This sounds like a very fascinating period that would make a great fantasy novel, but it didn’t involve humans, so God didn’t think we’d be interested… so he starts with the restoration of order and the creation of Eden, which occured 6000 years ago. Personally, I have never met a single creationist who endorsed this interpretation, although I know they’re out there: this was the favored explanation in the Scofield Bible so beloved of fundamentalists for so long.” (emphasis mine)

What occurred to me after reading that is left as a comment over there, but it was lengthy enough to merit becoming a post here, too.

A few additional thoughts after this.

* * *

“This sounds like a very fascinating period that would make a great fantasy novel”, huh?

Okay, I’ll bite, but it has to be a trilogy. (Or a saga.) Backcover blurbs follow.

Volume I of the Gap Age Trilogy,
“The Adventures of Young Lucifer”

“Yesterday, Luc was just another of the angels of the God-King’s domain, happy and carefree in the eternal overseeing sunshine of the divine ruler’s powerful radiance.”

“Today, the spires of the marble city loom oppressively over him. He’s without friends and running for his life from the God-King’s sadistic Seraphim Enforcers: all because of the crime of daring to doubt the King’s power, and that of his own.”

“Accompanied only by his childhood friend Bub, young Luc must now either get into the God-King’s inner sanctum to get answers… or perish trying.”

“The fate of all Heaven may depend on whether he succeeds or fails.”

Volume II of the Gap Age Trilogy,
“Dark Dragon Rising”

“Reeling back from the revelation of his — and everyone else’s — true paternity, Luc the rebel angel is torn between filial love and hatred of his father’s tyranny, while dark clouds of war gather over the Kingdom of Heaven.”

“Meanwhile, the captive Bub Beelze has been tempted into betraying his friends, but hasn’t taken the last step yet — can he resist the whispers of the bullying, charming, sinister Archangel Michael, the God-King’s chief inquisitor, or will he doom everyone into eternal slavery and despair?”

“And who is the suave and chillingly familiar angel that calls himself the Son — is he just another of the God-King’s enforcers, or something much more dangerous and powerful?”

“The Dark Dragon is rising, and things have reached the point of no return.”

Volume III of the Gap Age Saga,
“the Enochian Exterminators Strike Again”
(in US, “the Great War”)

“It’s war!”

“For umpteens of millennia, the Kingdom-Empire of Heaven has been ruled by the tyranny of the One God-King, but the time of silence is over! Endless legions of angels, led by the young and idealistic general Luc ‘Satan’ Morningstar, have risen up against the tyrant, but now face the most terrible of enemies — the dreaded, semi-Biblical Enochian Exterminators!”

“Can Luc and his courageous friends survive their onslaught? Will Bub betray him, or the God-King, or both? What is the goal of the mysterious Project Adam? What will be the future of Heaven? And will Luc’s part be defeat and servitude in Heaven… or rule in a place of his own?”

* * *

And while reimagining Paradise Lost as a YA fantasy trilogy is nifty… eh, might be a teensy bit difficult to market that one. “Why yes, the devil’s party and I know it!”

And now to upset some piles of books; I’m pretty sure I have a copy of Milton with the Dore illustrations here… um… somewhere?

(Before that: it was noticed over at Pharyngula that the Bible is like a loose anthology already, with shifts and contradictions and general sloppiness despite the editors’ hard work — I raise that and say the Bible-based traditions, legends and faiths are Extended Universe confusion, retcons, and fan fiction. The New Testament alone is a pretty paranoid fan fic reading of the Old! (Prophecies of Jesus my ass.) All, from the names and the number of the Magi, down to your local there-is-no-Hell Lutheran pastor that’s engaging in exercises similar to those that say “Clearly all the characters of Azumanga Daioh are dead, and the series happens in Heaven” — all similar to fan fiction or, and I shudder to say this, the work Kevin J. Anderson and the younger Herbert did and do with Dune.)

(Also, on Azumanga Daioh and crackpot theories, “since the ‘san’-suffix in Tadakichi-san isn’t sex-determining the same way as the usual translation of ‘Mr.’, we know Chiyo-chan’s mommy, too. Quite some parents.” And now, if you know the series, you’ll never read it quite the same way ever again. Not to even mention the eerily plausible “clever little Chiyo-chan; has killed her parents and is hiding it from everyone else” theory that apparently began as a way of explaining the lack of parental summer trip oversight.)

(And the fan fiction angle’s not my original idea, and not at all a bad way to approach the matter;  see ever-eloquent Greta Christina for more on that. And just so you don’t mistake my biases: why, I love fanfiction; I intensely dislike religion. Give me a Lord of the Rings / Ranma 1/2 crossover lemon over Exodus any day.)

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