You just feel weird

When you google for “latex phantom”, that is. Mostly because you can’t decide if it looks more like a Golden Age superhero (“Latex Phantom: Infiltration in the Night! Featuring the Terrible Tarmackizer and Macadam Lad!”) or a line of eccentric erotic films (“Latex Phantom III: Dawn Comes Sooner Or Later”), or something weirder than that.

Doesn’t help any most of the results seem to be for black latex gloves.

Police-style black tactical latex search and examination gloves.

Fine, now I have another nice little detail to look forward to the next time I have to fly somewhere.

(Note: A glance at that direction didn’t find a direct mention that the gloves were for cavity search use, among all the other uses. But then again I don’t think that’s an image you want in a prospective buyer’s head, either. Said in a whiny nasal voice: “These gloves probe ass.”)

(Also: a part of my horror of cavity searches is the stone cold certainty that, once in the unmentionable position, I know I couldn’t resist uttering some bad, bad, bad joke about it. Some very bad joke — possibly even a pun. Certainly something that would make anyone want to cringe and curl to a fetal position and cry. And then something would break inside the poor officer spelunker, and then there would be consequences.)

All this going through my head because of those two words, and just because I wanted to find out if there were any options or arguments to LaTeX’s \phantom command I didn’t know about.

No, there weren’t.

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