Bits and pieces

It’s one thing to name your cat Mittens. It’s quite another to accidentally drop it off at the furrier’s instead of the vet’s.

* * *

Hope springs eternal. Usually over a cliff.

* * *

A werewolf is, traditionally, someone that because of a bite of that creature turns to a wolf now and then.

A were-rat is an instance of role-playing game designers seeking a less challenging werewolf.

Imagine a were-butterfly, if you will. Or a were-butler. Or a were-king. (“Suddenly Johnson screamed and sat bolt upright. His left arm was covered by fur well beyond that which occurs on mortal men — ‘It’s ermine!’ Jackson shrieked. ‘A were-king!’ — and the same moment the creature was on him, Habsburgian jaw slackly reaching for his throat.”)

* * *

The Existential Autorectal Probe (An invaluable maxim of life): “First, always consider the possibility that you’re the asshole, not the other guy.”

* * *

More faith-based mathematics,
or the continuing saga of proving that all functions are continuous
(as in here, here and here)

Proof by ID: “Sure, there can be functions that are discontinuous in a micro sense, but an everywhere discontinuous function? Get outta here!”

Proof by resurrection: “Again bringing up this continuity nonsense? Wasn’t this settled three days ago?”

Proof by trolling: “Freebird!” (Apply repeatedly to anyone who disagrees. After each application run away, leaving trails of urine and feces if at all possible. If this fails, flash.)

Proof by concern trolling: “Ehm, don’t you think the poor chap would be just embarrassed to death if you corrected him, with his weak heart and all? He has small children, you know, named Jason and Jennifer. Jennifer likes kittens.”

Proof by realism: “Okay, maybe we can’t know all functions are continuous… but let’s humor that bulky guy with the mullet and lots of scars and pretend they are.”

Proof by Comic Sans: (example omitted to prevent headaches; probably addressed to Prof. Meyers)

Proof by assertion: “The notion of Discontinuitism is in its death throes. I foresee in a decade it will be no more.” (Repeat verbatim as long as necessary. Avoid excessive fantasies of recanting, show trials, etc.)

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