Coffee balloon

I dislike walking around with cup full of coffee. There’s always the danger of spilling some; and with coffee being hot, this might result in a lot of screaming and cursing which is not conductive to maintaining the properly cool academic facade.

Here’s an idea for an alternative, then, that came to me while carrying such a spillworthy cup: a coffee balloon. Meaning something like your average water balloon, except that you carry coffee around in it. The cafeteria or thermos or whatever has a nozzle for it (milk and sugar nozzles, too?); you have a clip to keep the balloon shut and your fingers unburnt (you can even play paddle ball with the balloon if you dare); and in your destination there’s a palm-insulating frame of a cup into which you can plop the balloon, and stretch it open over the cup’s rim.

Perfection!

The most obvious problem in this seems to be that once you have a coffee transportation device that does not require care and levelness, the likelihood of parkour-like antics increases, and eventually you’ll fall into a sitting position with the hot coffee balloon between your groin and the floor: and that’ll result in some loss of dignity indeed.

(“It’s coffee! Coffee! I am not incontinent! I am an adult perfectly in control of every twitch and movement of my bowels, rectal regions and urin— why hello, Dean. Just having a dialogue with the students. And how is your day?”)

As I said, an idea that came to me while carrying around a cupful of coffee prior to drinking it, and it shows.

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