Project Deep Llama

Here’s a project: Connecting all deep insights, conflicts, situations and moral dilemmas of all areas of human experience and inquiry to the way they were, all of them, with sublime brevity and insight expressed in Monty Python sketches.

* * *

The disconnect in celebrity reporting. The chasm between the lives of the viewers and the interviewed. The artificiality of the lives of the rich and famous. IT’S A TREE.

The rights of the customer. Customer service. The ecology of Norway. Hype, marketing, and the thorny boundary between praise, parody and deception. Dealing with disappointment. Animal rights. The Kübler-Ross model of grief. THE PARROT SKETCH.

The class system. Aristocracy. Idolization of sportsmen. The history of England, 1066–1945. The works of Quentin Tarantino. The Dunning-Kruger effect. THE UPPER-CLASS TWIT OF THE YEAR CONTEST.

The difficulty of simple actions. The perils of life and the small parts played by small men. Being in a rut. The monotonous convergence of smooth functions and attendant continuity results. A place for everyone and everyone in his place. Beginnings and endings. The follies of process theology. THE IT’S MAN.

Everything related to Internet, including abuses of e-mail, the derailing of threads, and the memeriffic mutations prevalent among the self-proclaimed in-crowd. The history of Sicily 1068–1194. THE SPAM SKETCH.

The atomic bomb. THE KILLER JOKE.

The stranglehold of the military-industrial complex. Grey eminences. Eminences of other colors. Lobbying, pressure groups and politicians. The chilling effects of commercial sponsorship. THE BUZZ ALDRIN SHOW.

Religion. All aspects of it. LIFE OF BRIAN.

Human life. All aspects of it. THE MEANING OF LIFE.

Death. DEATH.

Medical ethics. The dangers of subcontracting. The horror of human life in a vast meaningless uncaring godless universe. Physics and astronomy. Love and romance. The subtle art of seduction. Also live organ transplants. LIVE ORGAN TRANSPLANTS.

Television. The discord between enjoyable and accurate narratives. Dynamism and tradition in religion. The ubiquity of sin. Fame and infamy. Organized crime. The apotheosis of Simon Templar. The conflicts of the Dionysian and the Apollonian in man. THE BISHOP.

Flashbacks, flashforwards and flashes-to-the-same. The relativity of disgust and horror. Sadomasochism. Modern washing equipment. Digital surveillance and the impossibility of privacy in a modern digital world. Thread derailing, again. THE SPANISH INQUISITION.

Bureaucracy. Various theories of commerce and capitalism. “What the people want, they will be sold.” Logic. The possibilities of logic. The impossibility of logic. Semantics. The importance of careful pronunciation. Ruddy big hammers, history and taxonomy of. THE ARGUMENT SKETCH.

Roman Catholic attitudes to birth control. Music and song. The sad lot of the working man with a big family. The history of Christianity and religious prejudice, including the Spanish Inquisition and NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION.

The evolution of altruism. Mutually Assured Destruction (MAD), thinking the unthinkable, and winnable nuclear wars. The life and times of Herman Kahn. RAND Corporation. American two-party politics as viewed by ignorant foreign cheese-eating surrender monkeys. (Said monkeys and other dirty foreigners and cultural stereotypes are discussed in detail in THE PHRASEBOOK SKETCH.) First past the post voting. The elemental aspects of water. Revenge, avenging, grudges, escalation, one-upmanship and cunning plans. The show “Blackadder”. Gravity. Fluid dynamics. Applied biology. The mathematics of motion. Also deep sea fishing and its ecological effects, and end-of-the-world scenarios. Nuclear doomsday and the end of the human race. Existential angst. THE FISH-SLAPPING DANCE.

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