Selections from the dictionary I use

accomodationism (n.) and framing (n.) the various ways of saying “There there, child. I’m sure the bad man in the mirror went back to the mirror-land. Calm down, now, and put the knife down before someone, like me, gets hurt. Here’s some bland gruel.”

homeopathy (n.) an alternative medicine that has been scientifically proven to be effective in curing most cases of thirst.

irreducible complexity (verbal shorthand) “I am a clueless douche.”

Jesus (semi-fictional character) 1 : depending on one’s interpretation, either the first vampire or the first zombie. 2 : a failed Jewish prophet of imminent apocalypse; the chief ethical innovation most often attributed to him was the threat of hellfire. He’s tangentially related to a later complex of religions collectively known as Christianity.

leap of faith (visual expression) what results in Wile E. Coyote feeling for the ground, then plunging downwards. In free fall many things are easier, but the canyon bottom is coming closer.

magic bullet (JFK expr.) “I haven’t done my research. Also government sucks wooh!

materialism (n.) 1 : the philosophy of hogging and coveting. 2 : the philosophy of the nonexistence of spirits. Often confused with the first definition, much to the discomfort of both parties.

mathematician (n.) A prover of theorems; a harmless drudge that busies himself in building castles of lemmata and theorems up from various cloud-foundation axioms of his choice.

miracle (bi-valued expr.) either “I have no grasp of statistics whatsoever and I like loaded language! Booyah! Here’s a headline!”, or then a grown-up version of the homework-eating dog.

paranormal (n.) new vacuous bunkum. Telepathy, UFOs, ESP, OOPArts, many other acronyms.

platitude (n.) and deepity (n.) the scales of the dragon of modern theology. The dragon’s breath-weapon is hot air. (The dragon of old-age theology is armored with sharp bloody spikes and scales shaped like scary faces, and breathes aether.)

religion (n.) a cult with gravitas. Conversely, new, scrappy, up-and-coming religions are called cults; it is commonly accepted that a cult cannot really become a religion before the original founders are all dead and can no longer inconvenience the faith of their followers.

Santa Claus (character) a god with training wheels.

scientism (n., as a pejorative) “I AM A GIANT DOUCHE!”

spiritual (adj.) something nice, warm and fuzzy which you have unless you’re an empty soulless husk, and oh by the way there’re souls and a GOD ha ha Einstein was spiritual what’re you nasty atheists going to say now? huh? huh? huh? I love puppies and am so spiritual.

supernatural (n.) old vacuous bunkum. Common varieties include ghosts, vampires, religion. See also paranormal.

theologian (n.) one of a sad breed of pseudomathematicians that believe their abstractions actually describe realities. Theology (n.) is the enterprise of detailing the curvature of a horse’s horns.

tolerance (n.) usually means allowing things to be, even things one may not personally like, except the things one doesn’t personally like.

traditional Chinese medicine (n.) rhino horn, tiger penis and stuff. About as good for people as for the tiger, like Dara O’Briain said.

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