The joy of digital underwear

Thought #1: “Hmm, this here news item says they’ve invented, in Australia of all possible places, a pair of underpants that sends a text message (er, SMS) when you urinate.

Thought #2: “Say it’s for elderly people with an incontinence problem.”

Thoughts between Thought #1 and #2:

“By Richard, is this the fart-tweeting office chair guy again?”

“This sounds like a really bad practical joke. ‘Hey Doug, there’s this really sick guy who’s been sending an SMS to the local SMS chat TV show for the last week every time he goes to have a pee. Worst of all, it’s happening every time I do and it’s starting to freak me out.'”

“Or possibly something that’ll inspire an adolescent competition. ‘We have a blip! Frank’s in the lead! Frank’s in the lead! That’s the third lecture, and in the front row, and he managed to stop leaking before the floodgates burst, too! Maa–an we’re gonna get so drunk tonight! Especially Vinnie, for whom the floodgates burst in the middle of the Fluid Dynamics lecture!'”

“I am trapped! If only there was a way to attract someone’s attention without speaking or moving my hands or feet! Wait — morse code! Squirt, squirt, squirt, gush, gush, gush, —”

“Oh, something in the Inbox — You have pee!

“‘We know everything about you, Mr. Bond. Everything. Who’s a good kitty? Who’s a good kitty?'”

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