Yellow farm

From the news: “Human urine is a good substitute for fertilizer”. (What is this? A second urine headline in two days? Is this some Finland-wide theme week I’m not aware of?)

Imagine a city boy visiting his country relations.

“Hey cousin, where’s the toilet? I need to torrent a bit.”

“Just follow that path to the field edge, walk 1d20 meters into it, spin around at random and take three steps, and let it fly.”


“Oh, it’s just our whiz tank’s broken and we need to fertilize direct. If you have a solid one use the lower field and watch your step. Oh and if you can don’t drop all of it in the same place.”

According to the study (by one Surendra Pradhan) that the headline announced, or according to the news item anyway, a single human being pours out 500 liters of urine a year, which is enough to “water” 6 300 tomato saplings and produce 2.41 tons of tomatoes. I myself have never quite happened to visualize the magnitude of that particular personal achievement of mine; 500 liters is only half a cubic meter, and (assuming I am average) for some reason I intensely feel like an underachiever. Just one lousy half a cubic meter a year.

Funny thing, the human mind.

“The Foresighted Union of Farmers, ‘King in Yellow’ Cabal, wishes to remind you it’s good to drink at least 24 glasses of water a day.”

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