Past lives

A few questions about past lives:

  • How far do they go? Is there a possibility that a past life of mine was a Cro-Magnon? A pre-chimp? A hamster-like mammal a dinosaur stepped on? “I am the rebirth of Grizarr, the King of Tyrannosauri! Bow before me, cretins of the tax bureau!”
  • Human history being what it is, and especially child mortality being what it is, wouldn’t an immense majority of past lives have been, basically, “Waah! Waah! Pneumonia”?
  • Come to think of it, what’s the point an individual human being becomes past-life-worthy? Replace the quote of the previous point with “Hummm. Hummm. Hey, forceps? Abortion.”
  • A sidenote: No-one’s sad he’s found out to be the reborn Dalai Lama, but, er, where’s Hitler’s soul? Or Stalin’s? Just hope those people never go to consult a regression therapist…
  • More on Dalai Lama — is it a general rule that boys’ souls go to boys, and similarly for girls? If so, then what about intersex people? And can you move your soul from one stream to other by getting sex reassignment surgery, or is it more heavily in your genes? What about locality, ethnicity, religion? Can a Muslim be reborn as a Jew? (Please don’t tell them; they’ll only get angry and all.) Can a Norwegian reincarnate as an Australian aborigine? (“I haff a bad feeling about these vhite-skinned nevcomers.”)
  • If past lives are not bound in space, is there any possibility that one of us may be… a reborn alien?
  • Actually, if rebirths between conscious creatures all over the universe are allowed, and if conscious life is as plentiful as some suppose, shouldn’t that by simple statistics mean most of us have… alien souls? If so, do we call Stephanie Meyer (re: The Host), the Scientologists, or the Ghostbusters?
  • It seems there aren’t more people alive now than have ever lived; there are c. 7 billion humans alive now, and c. 100 billion that have (homo sapiens, not neanderthal, erectus, etc.) ever lived. (Heard it on SGU; must be true!) As there is, however, going to be more people alive tomorrow than there is today, is there some kind of a holding pattern (Limbo?) for that excess of souls? Or are they diluted somehow? Is the overall number of conscious beings on Earth (the Universe?) at any one time a constant — if so, the growth of human numbers would explain the dearth of talking asses, cats, dogs and dragons these days.
  • Or is the idea that as there are more and more people alive, there needs be more and more reaching back into the past to get enough souls? Where are we with seven billion, anyway? Rome, Egypt, Sumeria, what? Can Victorian visions of past-life Atlantis and the population of that time be used to date the Land That Sunk? What are the mathematics of reincarnation?
  • Oh; so past lives aren’t linear in time. That does it for the numbers questions, but doesn’t it mean there are people alive who’ve had… past lives in the future?
  • About that: what if Atlantis is in the future, then? That would account for the legendary advancement of that civilization. Does anyone remember seeing a newspaper date while there, anyway? I’m going to go and buy a big bit of Atlantic seabottom, just in case.
  • If there are past lives in the future, and yet no-one’s reported any future events worth a mention (elections, sports results, the like), it seems there’s some kind of a sharp cut-off that’s very close. And the undateable events we have are just struck-down barbarism ignorant of its past, and eventually a disconnected Atlantis… Barack, Vladimir, fingers off those buttons! And screw the seabottom purchase; I’m going to start digging a bunker.

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