Lettery bits

A flute player is, if you ask me, a flutist. This I say because whenever I hear the word “flautist”, I immediately think “What? Flatulist? Woohoo yeah where’s my lighter Free Bird! Oh wait no sorry.”

One day the arts of Le Petomane will rise again. One day the trump of doom will roar again. One day.

(Well, you neurotically fact-check and you learn. A book on the man and the sound!)

* * *

I’ve seen this a couple of times and I’m starting to think it’s not a misspelling but some attempt in Christian word magic: namely writing Satan as “satin”. Like the fabric, and in lowercase. (G–d that looks ugly!)

I wonder if this has something to do with the frequency some people call a certain biologist “Dr. Meyers”?

“Shh! If you spell it Myers you will fall into his power! It involves tentacles and… and stuff!”

* * *

Something I’m sure must exist somewhere, but I haven’t been able to find: An International Phonetic Alphabet (IPA) pronouncer machine. A cursory search (like this and this) gave plenty of charts of the thing and snippets of what the letters sound like, and things which take in English words and spit them out with varying degrees of mutilation, and even something which has pretty elemental-sounding innards, like this —

To force a jaw movement that closes the lips, set the Masseter activity at 0.25 seconds to 0.7, and the OrbicularisOris activity at 0.25 seconds to 0.2.

— but not quite what I was looking for. Surely there must be some site where you can type something in in IPA and the complete sound of it is burped out? Not text(English)-to-speech but text(IPA)-to-speech?

One Response to “Lettery bits”

  1. Bob O'H Says:

    Surely there must be some site where you can type something in in IPA and the complete sound of it is burped out?

    It’s called a bar.

    Oh, hang on. You didn’t mean Indian Pale Ale, did you?

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