Life in the literal world and elsewhere

“Lord Mayor! The savages are overrunning our village!”

“My God! And on a market day!”

“Lord Mayor, they’re cannibalizing our market!”

* * *

“B-bob, why’s there a headless corpse in the cubicle next to you?”

“Don’t worry. Happens to all employees good enough. Dan said it’s fine.”

“D-dan?”

“The headless corpse. He said he’s waiting for a headhunter to call on him… and I guess that’s what that beady-eyed guy with a big knife was.”

* * *

“No, sir, I must insist you have mistaken an elephant’s tail for a bell-rope.”

“Nonsense! I pulled it, and the bells jingled.”

“And what bells might those be?”

“Up there, those two gray spheres. I distinctly saw them twitch, though there was no sound. Maybe they are stuck; let me get a stick.”

“I say! Cease that ill-advised action!”

“What ho! Trumpet sounds! The wall is attacking me! Help! Help! Call the constabularies!”

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