Terminological commentary in two parts

“Hey! What are you doing in there?”

“I’m becoming one with God.”

“Huh? Is it supposed to make that kind of a noise?”

“Oh, that. That’s just the kettle. You need one to boil God, you know.”

“Do I?”

“Of course. First you boil God, then pour it through the emotional quest, and then you become one with it.”

“Sorry if I appear a bit thick, but are you calling water ‘God’, tea leaves an ’emotional quest’ and drinking ‘becoming one with’?”

“That is not a very spiritual statement.”

“Well, I’m not as full of spirituality as you are. Good day.”

* * *

“Uh, sorry to interrupt you but… what are you doing?”

“I’m growing schnaaz with bibong.”

“Sorry?”

“You know, to phraanz with Ghod.”

“Is this some kind of a religious thing?”

“Oh, yes. Have you learned to kitchok your inner vingvoon yet?”

“I’m afraid I don’t —”

“Oh, don’t worry. That’s just what phraanzing with Ghod is like. It is a big, long, hard gloppo snuurd to know Ghod.”

“Er, what do all these words mean?”

“That question is bhok. Goodbye.”

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