I have been informed of a grave threat to the welfare of us all: cats.
If you care about yourself or your family, you’ll build a shelter that is easily accessible from your house, but in a place where cats won’t easily find it. A cat can kill you any number of ways, and one of those ways is waiting outside a shelter while you’re inside starving to death, so make sure you’re stocked with food and other supplies to last for at least one year.
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I have been informed of a second grave threat to the welfare of us all, and especially of our young: goats.
The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation was created in 1982 by a small group that originally came together as a an informal support group for problems that were the result of traumatic experiences at petting zoos as children. This group realized that there were many others out there who were afraid to come forward with their horrific stories and wanted to find some way to help as many people as they could. The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation is the result of their dream.
Through its programs and workshops, individuals from all walks of life have been able to live happier and more fulfilling lives, without the ever-present ghosts of their personal goat traumas. Some have even made such progress that they have been able to put their traumas completely behind them and rejoin mainstream society.
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Frankly, after this information I am too scared to approach any animals at all. Especially since half of them seem to be mystery birds. Honestly, I never realized there were so many of them. I always thought there were (a) penguins and kiwis, (b) ostriches and dodos, (c) eagles, crows and vultures, and (d) little tweety things that won’t let me sleep.
And I was half certain the last were a category error for my siblings, too.
(This one, mystery bird for Sep. 24, looks like it’d rip half your face off if you blinked the wrong way. And just shriek and body-slam in if you thought a window was a barrier enough. “Twenty-four hundred stab wounds, sergeant, and the apartment all torn to shreds. Even the power outlets pecked apart to the depth of ten inches. This was done by a beast whose viciousness is beyond all human ability to comprehend.”)
(And somewhere not at all far away, an unblinking mad red eye was watching them. Watching, and clattering its beak slightly, something like amusement shivering its neon-green feathers as it listened to the hiss and glurgle of the police car’s tires and gas tank getting emptier and emptier.)
(It was going to be a terror in the daylight, and a day of shrieks under the forest’s eaves… for the Flock was awake.)