Once more inside my head

Voice one: “Mmm, after that weird-ass boast of giving loans to Mongolians, the Kiva business, I have a sudden urge to financially specialize in Mongolian taxi drivers.”

Voice two: “Shut up, twerp. Stop being flippant about matters that are important to people.”

V1: “Why shouldn’t I be? The flippancy is atop a non-flippant foundation.”

V2: “Huh?”

V1: “I know there are millions, probably billions, of people who need help on the scale I can easily provide.”

V2: “Is this again the massag— oh, you mean money.”

V1: “Right. And while I could help any individual, I can’t help them all. Thus I must either shrivel in despair, or choose.”

V2: “Please, for the sake of even minimal aesthetics, choose.”

V1: “But that too is madness. Should I prefer Finns, or atheists, or beglassed cola-drinkers, or hefty people with ponytails, or some group that supposedly should be dearer to me than others because of some bogus affinity? Surely not. Should I help the most needy, then? How should I find the most needy ones from a list of thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, of very needy people? By choosing the neediest country, and trying to forget neediness is in each country a range whose distribution varies while its long tails exist everywhere? What if I end up helping a moderately impoverished Smokingholestanian while a nude, starving Welloffstanistanian is passed over? And even having some kind of an individual sorting algorithm, with numbers like that it would be more influenced by randomness, chance, slips of pen, than by facts when looking for a minimum in such a morass of information!”

V2: “So then what?”

V1: “Well, having taken this pool of targets in need… this slate of on cursory examination and on some level near-equally worthy causes, amongst which I must choose… I do the equivalent of a throw of darts, which in this case is a decision based on my whim and nothing more. Mongolian taxi drivers okay great go! It’s a dick move, maybe, but no less than pretending there’s something special in your choice when it’s a toss of dice too, when you have no idea of the range all the possible choices offer. Your choice is special because you chose it, and that is enough; the same’s true for mine, though I am a dick with curious thought processes. Satisfied now?”

V2: “Damned if I know. Let me ask all the other sockpuppets and straw men you’re keeping here inside your head…”

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