In our continuing series “If I was a Christian, I would probably be screaming not laughing right now”: A pink piggybank in the shape of a robed man… named “Jesus Saves“.
The only way to make it more tacky would have been to have the coin slot in a slit on his side… or in a wound in one upraised palm.
Then again, there’re Jesus nightlights (“Your children will love this nightlight, as Jesus appears to be watching over them wherever they are.”) and a Jesus marital aid (“1 3/4 inches diameter”) — one sometimes wonders how Jesus-full a life one could live with this stuff.
“Sacre coeur! In the loaf! The very face of—”
“Sorry. It’s a Fish-Loaf of the Savior, vacuum-packed, pre-sliced, $5.99 over on Amazon. Not a miracle, unless you count how the raisin eyes seem to follow you. Could you give me the Kiss of the Lord Glass With Silicon Lips; I think I’ll open another tin of Agony of the Savior Triple Squeezed Tomato Juice. Then to the bus.”
“No. The crossbar broke.”