The problem of the Finnish Church, in caricature

Conservative Christian: If the Church starts marrying them gays, I’m outta here! Who’s gonna polish the pews and brew the coffee then? Huh? We’re the actives! We’re the believers! You offend us at your peril with your with-it nonsense! Drive us away, and nothing but a godless vague and ineffective nonprofit remains!

Liberal Christian: If the Church doesn’t start marrying them gays, I’m outta here! Who’s gonna do the charity and comfort those in distress then? Huh? We’re the PR people, the nice people! We’re the bleeding heart of Christ! You offend us at your peril with this dragging-feet cowardice! Drive us away, and nothing but an apocalyptic knitting club for sour old ladies remains!

Priest: Eep. People… er… a big church… that has room for all viewpoints… and interpretations…

Meanwhile, I’m watching this from a corner and sniggering. I don’t much care to which side the Church falls, because both mean irrelevance sooner rather than later; and the rope of all under one roof on which the church walks is shaking ever worse.

(Clarification: I don’t care, because a conservative turn is worse, but means a much quicker slide into diminutive cultish oblivion; a liberal turn makes the church a nicer place and keeps it for a while from shrinking into insignificance, but still ends in its dilution, humanitarian assimilation and extinction. Which, coming from a spittle-flecked atheist, is of course an impartial and reliable prediction of future events.)

Meanwhile, the mad rush (see the previous few posts) has been winding down since Tuesday, which means the rush lasted for a week; the casualties of the Finnish Lutheran Church are at some 32 000 people, with a thousand or so still leaving daily, well above the normal rate of c. 150/day. The benighted drones of the Christian Democrat party (KD; 5% support) whose intolerant leader, Päivi Räsänen, partially sparked all this, report a record-breaking weekly influx of over 150 new members, oh my God; the good people of Seta, or Seksuaalinen tasavertaisuus (Sexual equality) LGBTI organization report a gain at least twice that. My position can be guessed from “benighted drones” and “good people”.

Previously about this:

  1. Mwa ha ha, Finnish Church!
  2. The state of religious discussion in Finland, when it happens
  3. Astronomer and the Abominations

News in English about it: Article in Helsingin Sanomat; HS column and a list of articlesone Yle news piece; the Church on Wikipedia.

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