Dear God (not the XTC song)

Hello, God.

Me here. These followers of yours are keen for me to follow you, too. Since they seem to be a bit confused about some things, I decided to write to you to ask for clarification about some things.

The thing is, I’m not sure I can feel comfortable, not to say moral, following you if some of these things said about you are true.

Do you in fact cause people to be tortured for an eternity? I don’t care what infraction would make you do that, would “justify” it; if you’re someone who does such a thing (worse than what any human criminal has ever done) even to a single soul, no matter how criminally bad, then you’re worse than any of them.

What about your part in creating us humans? Because if you did us, you’re a shitty engineer, no offense meant. Our bodies fail all the time, in painful and horrifying ways; our minds are even worse. It’s not trifling, nor funny, the agony and trouble that our flesh-shells and thought patterns give us. If this all is your doing, you’re either inept or malicious; in either case, this is not going to work. (Also, I could find out the names of a few physicians who could tell you how to design a better human being, if it’s the former and not the latter.)

What about Heaven? I hope it doesn’t exist. Because if it does and it is better than this Earth, why are we here? Our sufferings are not trivial, and not funny. We won’t appreciate the contrast for it to be worth all this when we finally make it, crying and shaking, to the Pearly Gates.  If there’s life within those gates, it would have been better for us to be born there to begin with, I think.

So, all in all, I think, best for you if there are no places you’ve made, no Hell nor Earth nor Heaven.

Also, all these laws and commandments of yours; I’d like to see how you justify them. Because if you say they must be followed because you have a big fist, or we must obey for you made us, well, then I won’t play. That’s a bully talking and not a saint, much less someone higher. Surely you have better reasons for all the rules than seeing if we leap because it’s your voice saying so? Surely there’s some logic, some framework of reason to them? I realize I’m a bit late to the game, but it’s not becoming to play a king (a crowned bully) like you are said to do. Kings are a pretty dead idea these days, and pleasing one isn’t much of a fulfilled life for anyone; or so it seems to me.

I hope you will come down to our level, better than you did with that guy whose birthday just passed. And after explaining what exactly you’ve done and plan to, don’t tell us what to do, but why we should. (Wasn’t religion supposed to be the why and not the what anyway?)

I’ve heard it said you will get angry if we mortals set you conditions; that you will not explain your actions; that you are somehow ineffable, unable to make yourself understood by us. I hope that is false, too, because any ogre can hide behind excuses like that; and there are so many bottomless pits I’d rather not make any leaps of faith.

Facetiously awaiting your answer or thunderbolt,

Mr. M-of-Eris

One Response to “Dear God (not the XTC song)”

  1. William Lawson Says:

    Dear Mr. M-of-Eris,

    Neither thunderbolt nor answer shall be forthcoming. Instead I’ve decided to ‘gift’ you with the following observation…which, in time, you will doubtless come to fully understand and embrace:

    Shit happens! You can either step over it, or into it.

    (P.S. You are free to define either choice as Heaven or Hell.)

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