Text adventure failure

It’s a frustrating combination of player and text adventure when you find yourself trying these in the first room:

  • up
  • down
  • sideways
  • open door
  • unlock door
  • mu door
  • go forward
  • lick door
  • kill me
  • kill narrator
  • wake up
  • climb wall
  • dig floor
  • dig chicks
  • break door
  • sing
  • sing
  • sing
  • curse
  • shout
  • scream
  • strip

Also:

> take a piss

You can’t see any such thing.

(Collected these links for text adventures/interactive fiction, but haven’t had time to explore yet. Nice as shooting at things is, with my reflexes something text-based is better. Plus I’m old enough to be, just barely, of the second generation before this present one, i.e. the one who had games of white text on a black screen. The generation between had that when Duke Nukem 3D refused to load; this present one never sees a text screen at all because they have Graffical Luser Interfaeces.)

(“…he said, in a heavily nostalgia-deluded state of imperfect judgment and recall.”)

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