Jesus wouldn’t…

You know what Jesus would not do?

Jesus wouldn’t own a gun.

Jesus wouldn’t put his name on merchandise.

Jesus wouldn’t avoid the poor.

Jesus wouldn’t care about money.

Jesus wouldn’t worry about global warning.

Jesus wouldn’t give interior decoration tips.

Jesus wouldn’t laugh at the 2012 apocalypse.

Jesus wouldn’t call Fred Phelps insensitive, or harsh.

Jesus wouldn’t want a house, or a second pair of clothes, or a steady job.

Because Jesus was an apocalyptic prophet of an imminent new millennium and the world’s ending, and he didn’t have the time.

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