Dear Finnish people,

My friends, my relatives; my countrymen. I would have a question for you. That question would be as follows.

What the hell?

I wake up, check the news, and find myself looking at abominations like this:

KOK 20.1
KESK 18.1
SDP 18.1
PS 17.2
VIHR 9.0
VAS 7.3
KD 4.6
RKP 3.8
MUUT 1.8

Those are recent support numbers for various Finnish political parties; and those are not the numbers to have a month before the parliamentary election.

Why that is so, is because of one of those parties; but let me first tell what those abbreviations stand for.

KOK 20.1% – Kokoomus / National Coalition Party (liberal conservative)
KESK 18.1% – Keskusta / Centre Party (centrist liberal)
SDP 18.1% – Sosiaalidemokraatit / Social Democratic Party (social democrats (well duh))
PS 17.2% – Perussuomalaiset / True Finns (crazy assholes)
VIHR 9.0% – Vihreät / Green League (green liberals (?))
VAS 7.3% – Vasemmistoliitto / Left Alliance (eco-socialists (that’s what Wikipedia tells me…))
KD 4.6% – Kristillisdemokraatit / Christian Democrats (well duh)
RKP 3.8% – Ruotsalainen kansanpuolue / Swedish People’s Party (liberals; for the Swedish-speaking minority)
MUUT 1.8% – Muut / Others (various yahoos)

As you may note from those descriptions, my question above arises from the party currently polling numbers that might make it the fourth largest party in the Parliament, one of a new Big Four to replace the uninteresting Big Three; a party that may get into the cabinet, or even (I can’t believe people are suggesting this) get the prime minister’s position: the odious twerps of the True Finns.

That’s their own chosen name in English; I think the Finnish name, “Perussuomalaiset”, translates directly as “Basic Finns” or, if you were on a Coca-Cola marketing mood, “Finns Classic”.

What these true, basic and classic characteristics are, are for the most part various sullen hostilities that a lot of Finns have, and that have so far been too uncouth to be so directly advocated on the political scene. The True Finns are, in my opinion, if not advocating these hostilities, then at least riding an implicit support of them as much as they can.

One’s a grumbling, mean-spirited, uncharitable hostility towards immigrants and foreigners — not that they’re racists, the party races to note, but they question the wiseness of extensive immigration. They’re wishing for a discussion; Sweden Democrats-lite or Geert Wilders-like, who of course are unreasonable people but they got lynched didn’t they? And they make questions about assimilation, while their elder supporters mumble that gol dang it, them furriners oughta throw away all their stupid furriner cultural package if they wants to live in Finland, and take up the stupid Finnish cultural package, when in a land do as is the land’s way, mumble mumble, the land’s way or the highway, mumble grumble.

This is echoed from the other wing of their members, from the angry young men who while not xenophobes dislike, hate and question anything that’s unfamiliar or different. No, they have great admiration for other cultures as long as them’s not the cultures of brown people. (But they’re not racists! They’re just “asking uncomfortable questions”.) And they place a great value on diversity sharia sharia SHARIA! Honor killings! Burkhas! Razzmatazz! Blind bigoted xenophobia! Oh wait I mean human rights. And as they were saying, let’s kick those people out back to the hellhole they came from, or at least make them do the wife-beating in a way we’re accustomed to.

The first wing takes up the refrain again: as if threatening der Natural Spirit and Wholeness and Grit of the Finnish Heroes of the Second World War the Nation of Blood and Super Heroes was not enough, there’s then these… university people. Which use big words and are out of touch with the real people, the real people who have sweat in their armpits and shit between their teeth, or the like. The people who have the smarts, not some eedjucashun.

And the politicians, them fat cats, they’re all corrupt and selfish and out of touch. Them’s talking of tax rates and parliamentary procedure and whatnot, when it’s plain as a very plain nose that the people need to have various many things for free for everyone, and also pay less taxes. Why don’t the deciders see that we hate them. Sullenly.

Oh, and them arts? We’ll support art only if it’s Finnish art! None of this Euro nonsense! Or the feminist sensitive robe-wearing gay modern stuffs! We wants real art, and we knows it when we sees it! True art only! Reflecting the true sober spirit of the… Finnish identity… we’re not racists, we’re proud patriotic nationalists and there’s a difference, yes there is.

Also, morals? We’re all for morals! Unlike the sick faggots… sorry, that was a representative who is not representative of the views of our party. As I was saying, these Satanic hippie group orgies… sorry, that representative was expressing a personal opinion. Them all fagits will burn in Hail… don’t interrupt, next with animals as I was… Please disregard him; he is old. Now we’re popularly minded and Christianly social and rah rah hurray Finland, and what’s with this faggoty bureaucracy, hey, I’m just asking, hey, what’s with that? And… and… well, you can’t put a wooden leg on a cow. That’s why this EU stuff will never work. You can’t put a wooden leg on a cow. And I’ll never back down from that!

Also, crime? We’re against it! Tougher punishments! Law and order! No foreign aid! Politics without pity! Every man for himself! And we’ll pull through this together! Focus on the farmfolk! Focus on the cityfolk! For the young! For the old! For the middle-aged also! If you have blue people, we’re for them too! True Finns for the blues! The establishment… what did it ever do to us?

As you may gather from the hyperbolic generalization (repeat after me: hyperbolic generalization — so I hope) of the screed above: the True Finns are nationalistic populists. I shudder to write this, but they’re a bit like the American Tea Party whackjobs; less so, because Finnish politics probably are in the mild limp pinko territory to any American observer, and Finland doesn’t have quite the same tradition of Bible-thumping theatrical jackassery. (No, the Finnish tradition is sullen grumbling glaring xenophobic hatred.)

The thing with them is, they haven’t been fighting for the place of the biggest party for long. Four years ago, in the previous parliamentary elections, they got 4.05% of the vote, and that was their high. Now, by that most recent poll, they’re at 17.2%. As I don’t think there has been time for any mass dumbening of the Finnish people, I can only blame the economic downturn and the tendency of people to latch to whatever seems comforting when the times get tough. And what’s more comforting than a populist yelling all’s the fault of someone else, and things are simple, actually, and some mythical nationalistic grit, flavored with a disunited hodge-podge of every possible rightist and leftist cliche, will get us back into der uncomplicated Happy Days of der Finnish Dream when everyone was white, straight, honest and went into the church every single fucking Sunday and there were none of these darkies around. (Must not mention Weimar Germany… oh for fuck’s sake, must not mention… these small-minded bastards are not worthy!)

A final illustration, probably worth more than all of the spittle above:

In a TV show the kind of a caricature that crowds the True Finn ranks is your typical fat balding xenophobe neighbor uncle that would encounter that which he abhors in an episode of thirty minutes or less: he’d force-meet a foreigner, a Muslim, a gay atheist librul hippie academic, and so encountering realize them’s just people too, and his prejudices are exaggerated and silly, and he would be reformed.

In reality that encounter never happens, and then these yahoos go and vote for the True Finns.

* * *

PS. (post scriptum, not Perussuomalaiset!) One may ask where I stand on the political landscape, after I’ve made so clear where I don’t.

I think I’m somewhere on the leftie side. Free schooling for everyone, more taxes, a eunuch nanny state and tentacle porn for all!

PPS. Might as well air another part of my disgust for these chaps. It’s not just that they have these stupid, heartless and/or ruthlessly romantic views; it’s that ten years ago, when I was eighteen, I was just like them. I refer to that as the “smug, prissy, ignorant prick” phase of my life; it’s what happens when you assume your opinions are right without bothering to take a close look at them.

2 Responses to “Dear Finnish people,”

  1. Vladimiro Rinaldi(Rinaldi and Rasnuzzi) Says:

    THE REAL FINNISH HEROS NOT INCLUDED IN THE KALEVALA

    Oh my God how difficult is to be or remain friend of a Finnish!

    Neverthless at least a few(very few) good Finnish people I met when I was in Finland,women or men,we are all human beings.

    But,alas,to try to stay in Finland and meet friendly people too to whome not to feel too alone as a human being out of own country was very difficult,impossible….,no work for foreigners.Nakemiin.

    There were many people,locals, there ,who made me feel an unwelcome petrson ,a sort of a beast to be ill-treated and insulted.Makarooni!So they called those frtom my country.

    I was from thsat country and where I worked I alwayd was gentle with all the foreigners of the world, included those from Finland.

    How youngand innocent I was! Thank you Anna Liisa fo9r having lovred me really ,and I loved you really, and thank you Kasuko for having been a very good friend .Hyvaa Suomalaista. In Helsinki,Espoo,Tspiolas,Vuosaari.And Kotka,Kuopio,othyer placersd.

    Thank you Kauko and Thank you Anna-Liisa.Yes you did honour to Suomi Finland by your wonderful behaviour to me ,kiitos paljon.Thank you evert do much.This unknown and vagabond sort of poet or whatever….,thanks you very much.

    I do not know what else to say.

    This person from a workingt class area of Rome,Italy,full of hope and dreams for sa bgetter humaninity thanks youall bertter Finnish perople.

    Just because you, to myself so alone and abandoned among the cald streets of ther cities,were good,werlcoming,different Finnish people.The bedst ones I’ve evetr met.You by your wonderful behaviour,made me feel beloved ,respected and…asast own home ,or even better.

    The real humanity in peace and respect exist also in your country .You are the best real heros,better than the mithological ones from the Kalervala. They never existed,you did.
    ….
    On ther contrary there were other people who insulted the foreigner I was for them (because was a poor or other reason…), just there, incredible but true….The stupid and arrogant people exist also in Finland,and not only in Finland,alas!Derogatory terms they used to the peoplpe from my country.

    How could they know in Rome,in Italy,I workred helping tourists many of therm were Finnish,and I always was gentler to them ?

    Racism is sinonimous of igniorance asnd cowardy,fascism and so on.

    Writer Primo Levi once had to write:”Every time has its own fascism”‘. My good father was a partisan who fought against fascism and nazism.And because of this he was arrested and tortured and condamned to dresath.

    History of humanity all the people and the other creatures and the elemernts is history.If only one is forgotten history is no more history,it becomes incomplete history.Everywhere in the world and always.

    ………

    Just there ,in the country of Kauko my good sculptur friend in Espoo,Anna-Liisa my great and sweet love,and Raija ,Olli Suom who used pieces of rocks from Vuosaari for his artistic creations,and ….Eino Leino,Alvar Aalto,Sibelius,and other extraordinary personages…many other known,well known or unknown Finnish people who made me have a better opinion about the Finnish peopler and let my hear live..

    They did,and will ever do,honour to Suomi Finland by their friendship,love,goodmanners and behaviour.Kiitos Paljon and nakemiin hyvaa Suomalaista.(sorry guys the PC key born is foreigner as I am), I have just namend and the others I do not remember their name I apologise to them.
    Kaunis Suomi Finland Vacker
    Finland Suomi kaunuis
    Ti voglio bene-Mina rakastan sinua .Jag alsker dig.

    The author apologises or any spelling mistake in English and Finnish.

    Real story by

    Vladimiro Rinaldi (Rinaldi and Ranuzzi)
    own web site(poems in ten languages,Finnish is also included)

    http://www.apoesidi.com

    P.S.Welcome visitingmy web site and write to me
    note to those who want to write to and be my friends.

  2. Vladimiro Rinaldi Says:

    I love good people / whrever they are/
    no matter the nationality they have/
    Or they do not have / Human kind we are

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