Cooking styles of the famous

Lovecraft bachelor chow style: “Do not call up, what ye can keep downe.”

Lovecraft ‘Randolph Carter takeout’ technique: “I repeat to you, gentlemen, that your ordering is fruitless. Also no anchovy, and double cheese to the gentleman in yellow.”

Conan original method: “Cooking came Conan, the Cimmerian, flour-faced, sullen-eyed, spatula in hand, a baker, a confectioneer, a pastry chef, with gigantic pies and much beefcake, to tread the raisined batter of the bread under his shovel-like hands…” (from the Nemedian Cookbook)

New Conan flair: “Crush your eggs, see them whisked before you… and hear the bakering of their omelettes!”

The Lucas motivator style: “Cook, I’m your father.”

The Bela Lugosi hint: “Ve do not trink… vine.”

The Pie of the Black Bird: “Quoth the Raven: ‘Spread evenly and bake for 20 minutes in the oven’s middle level.'”

Clark Ashton Smith “The Seven Geases of the Isle of the Torturers” style of meta-cooking: Cooking is an ordeal of recursive difficulties; order a pizza and wait.

(Maybe one tweet would have been enough; but I went and wrote a full post. Oh well.)

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