Religious spam from 10 000 BC

It is well known that the Book of Ug is infallible. As for the proof of this, behold!

“This book has nothing of falsity in it. If all the jealous Christians and Muslims of the world gathered together to try to make a like of it, they could not do a single dight letter.” —Ug 1:1–2

“Read my lips, for they are soft and beautiful, for they are the lips of Ug: No errors in this book. Nothing but truth.” —Ug 2:3

“Ten out of ten leading dentists say this Book of Ug is without flaws!” —Ug 5:11

“Space unicorns could not forge the Book of Ug. How could men forge it?” —Ug 5:1

“And this Book of Ug is not a book that could be forged by any except Ug; and as Ug did not do that, this book is not forged Q.E.D.” —Ug 4:2–3

Do not ever speak anything but the truth of the Book of Ug!

It is the truth that many manikins made of brightly-colored East German machine tools have led the way to the Book of Ug, backwards in time — for the Book of Ug was the first book written, for it was written by the hand of Ug.

“There are no prophets. There are no gods. There is but the wisest human, Ug, who was the first human, and who wrote the wisest Book, which was the first book. Truly I tell you, not even fire will burn this truth; if ye harnessed mammoths to tear at this truth, the mammoths would strain in vain and die of their exertions and be lifeless, and not a letter of the Book of Ug would be changed.” —Ug 2:14–16

These were not prophets nor gods nor men, but manikins made of brightly-colored East German machine tools leading to the Book of Ug backwards in time, all: Moses and Jesus and Mohammed and Joseph Smith and Sathya Sai Baba and Sai Baibai.

“For will not there come a man, Sai Baibai, of the family of Sri Syadasti Sai Sai Baibai, who will set himself up as a living god? Believe not what he says of himself. He will be an antecursor of Ug, though he denies it. By the vehemence of his denials shall you see the fire he bears for Ug, for he alone of all men has seen the Worm Killzor.” —Ug 5:2–5

They were important b-c EG mt m:s; but do not be misled by lying wicked evil stinky deceivers who say they were something else.

“Never the followers understood, and stumbled astray: for they were not prophets nor gods nor men, but that which Ug sent to point to him, backwards in time.” —Ug 1:3

Do not believe those who say otherwise. Are you going to let a man to define what Ug is?

“It is not for man to speak of Ug; for Ug has spoken of Ug and none else can.” —Ug 2:1

“Those who do not revere the Book of Ug above all books will be eaten by the Worm Killzor!” —Ug 3:2

“The Book of Ug is indestructible!” —Ug 4:5

“The Worm Killzor is the most terrible of worms, and it will eat all those who slight Ug, or his Book, or worship false powers or principalities-to-come.” —Ug 4:4

All the other religions and sciences have their own ideologies… they have proven nothing. Only the Book of Ug remains.

“This Book will always be. All other books will not be, or being will be their unbeing, or their being’s undoing. Only the Book of Ug remains.” —Ug 5:15

“The refutation of the Book of Ug becomes a denial of Ug. And then the Worm Killzor!” —Ug 5:10

“If there be mockers and scoffers, that is according to what Ug has seen. The more mockers and scoffers there are, the righter Ug is! Also, the closer the Worm Killzor.” —Ug 2:10

“And there shall be no flesh of the mammoth to those who reject Ug; for none of them does anything except smear excrement. But that excrement shall be on themselves, in a dramatic reversal! For they do not know who they are, and they do not know Ug.” —Ug 2:9

“For the scoffers, and the mean-minded, and those that I pity for their lack of understanding of an infinitesimal part of the glory of the greatness of Ug: to them I say, there are three Worms beside Killzor, and they are all bigger.” —Ug 4:1

“None speak out against Ug except by jealousy; they are all bought to speak out against Ug. Reckless concocted calumnious false vugar crow-cawings is what they are. None speak out against Ug except by malice, because Ug is the finest human being, for is it not said in the Book of Ug, ‘Ug is the finest human being’?” —Ug 5:7-8

“Ug is the finest human being.” —Ug 5:6

For Ug, every knee shall make bending and every head bowing things! Even mammoths will all bow down to Ug, for space unicorns have bowed down to Ug.

“All men will bow to Ug. All women will bow and come to the bed of Ug. This is righteousness!” —Ug 5:12–13

“Ug is the finest human being; space unicorns bow to Ug and come to the bed of Ug.” —Ug 5:9

“Of all the human beings, there is none like Ug. There is none with the legs and hands and lips of Ug. For Ug was the first human being. This is righteousness!” —Ug 2:6–8

In the Book of Ug, is the greatest most sublime poetry ever written. Behold!

“Ug is of all the greatest! All are led to give praises at Ug! Ug is among the great ones the greatest because surely it is said everyone not that there is Ug’s equal in existence!” —Ug 3:3

“For have you seen any greater than Ug? No! For none has seen any greater than Ug, for there is no such thing.” —Ug 2:5

“Ug is Ug.” —Ug 2:2

“Hear ye! This is told of the Worm Killzor, and it is all.” —Ug 3:1

“As horses are known to be hung and immense, so is Ug. Know this and despair, ye mockers!” —Ug 1:2

No “secular” work nor any holy book can compare to the Book of Ug. Next to the Book of Ug, the Bibles and the Korans and the Books of Baibai are as if the droppings of mammoths, and the expulsions of bats.

“Next to the Book of Ug, other books are puny for they are not hammered on living rock!” —Ug 2:4

“Verily! For next to the Book of Ug, are not all other books and works as if the droppings of plagued mammoths? For next to this book, are not all other books and works as if the expulsions of rabid fruit-bats of the caves of Killzor? Verily they are.” —Ug 2:11–13

See the truth, all ye mockers and scoffers, for ye have not the truth.

“Ye have not the truth, mockers and scoffers!” —Ug 3:4

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s