The search for answers

or terms that brought googlers here; horrible person answers edition:

  • opposite of gullible — Why I believe it’s written on the ceiling just over you. Go ahead, look.
  • did anne frank go to heaven — Well, assuming the existence of Heaven and Hell and the related standard theological frills, no. Which should explain why I don’t assume that evil shit, okay?
  • graduate school advisor abuse — There’s no special vocabulary for that, as far as I know. Just fix an image of him/her in your mind, and let rip. After you get into great-grandparents slow down, tamp the coals of your anger, and get back at thesiswork. Hatred will make you strong.
  • finns are assholes — Well, fuck you too, you googling bastard whose mother had a face like a vole. ‘M not an asshole, you vole-arsed prick!
  • one-liners + toothpicks — “They call him ‘the Hedgehog’. It’s because he does self-control of behavior. Every time one of his one-liners falls flat, he sticks a toothpick on the back of his hand. After some evenings he has more picks than fingers.”
  • what will the second hobbit movie cover — The second half of the book, thank you very much. Try for more. Or if you’re a pessimist, Penny Arcade has a strip that is vaguely applicable.
  • thyroid storm stories — A less thrilling concept once you know thyroid storms are a medical condition. If they weren’t, it would be a really cool name for a band. Or a book: “Shattered Jedi Courage: Book Three of the Thyroid Storm”.
  • what is a tripple blind study — A misspelling.
  • cat on heat nightmare — Pray tell more. Wait, no, let me imagine… “Why Mr. Snuffles, is that a baseball bat you’ve OH GOD NO—“
  • materialism is stupid — Well yes, but poverty sucks too.
  • winnie the pooh biblical? — “And the Prophet Pooh spoke, saying: Piglet, thou are a sinful beast and an affront to the Lord, whose name is Heffalump. Thou shalt be burned until crisp as the heretic Robin was burned, and may the stench of your broiling please the nostrils of the Lord.” (Book of Pooh 3:4)
  • rainy day tanuki — Yes, Yoshitoshi’s Rainy Day Tanuki, showing that when we had Victorian prudery, Japan had fun.
  • einstein couldn’t spell own name? — Well no, because in physics they’re called incantations, not spells, and anyway you don’t want to do a self-referential incantation unless you want the whole silly thing blowing up in your face. That’s covered in the first curse on physics, isn’t it, dummy?
  • flesh eyeglasses — Why yes, if you have spare cat arseholes, by all means make some. (I assume this is what you meant. If not, please still consider my hint; it took some time to come up and out with.)

One Response to “The search for answers”

  1. Iason Ouabache Says:

    For some reason I get someone coming to my blog looking for information about “jay novella divorce”. No idea why.

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