Pottermore?

So this Pottermore site will sell Harry Potter ebooks and contain something like Rowling’s own Potter encyclopedia. Also more buyables and unlockables. (What hey: official Harry Potter ebooks, finally. Only a decade or so after the unofficial ones. One wonders if the officials have all the GrandPré chapterheads too.)

But the encyclopedia-thing — could be very nice; could be utterly horrible too. Depends on the ratio of geekery to generality; the ratio of fanservice to exciting interactive multimedia online business opportunities.

For some reason I’m better in imagining the utterly horrible.

* * *

Search: Potter

You have found entry “The Potter family in wizarding history, 1750–1990”.

You have not unlocked the entry “The Potter family in wizarding history, 1750–1990”. Please unlock it!

You do not have enough Snitch points to unlock any entries! Why not play e-Quidditch to earn more Snitch points?

To play e-Quidditch, you need to register. Enter your user name, password —

The user name “Titmouse” cannot be registered. Dobby disapproves!

— your user name, password —

Thank you for registering, “Gruffindor”! Enter your address and credit card details below to finish activating your account. Please note you need to be over 18 to play e-Quidditch.

Thank you! Press “Download” to download the e-Quidditch game file, then select the downloaded file in the Run menu.

Downloading “eq-probe.exe”… 4% (2 444 / 96 111 kb)

Unable to execute file. “eq-probe.exe” is not a valid executable.

Troubleshooting with Dobby! What is your problem? FILE WILL NOT RUN

Answer: Sorry! E-quidditch may not be available for your platform! (Dobby says: Why not buy a Dell Hertzmaster IA1A0 with Windows 7 Pokemon Edition from our special “Hogsmeade Partner”, Gouger’s Computer Shack?)

Troubleshooting with Dobby! What is your problem? LINUX

Answer: Dobby doesn’t know anything about that! Dobby will hit Dobby over the head with a tin pot, just like in the books!

Troubleshooting with Dobby! What is your problem? RAEG RISING HIGHER

Answer: Dobby doesn’t know anything about that! Dobby will hit Dobby over the head with a tin pot, just like in the books!

You have new mail! Sender: exciting@pottermore.com Subject: If you liked Harry Potter, you are going to love The Infantile Adventures of Bunny McSquee by Jennifer Noname!

Post deleted.

Address added to blacklist.

Tea fetched.

Search: Potter

You have found the entry “Harry Potter”.

In the books, Harry Potter is the Chosen One — but will he defeat the nasty evil wizard Voldemort? To read more about Harry Potter, including exclusive new content by J. K. Rowling, you need to unlock this article!

Hello Muggle! Which part of the exciting Pottermore online multimedia experience would you like to browse? 1) Magickal Buy-o-rium 2) Encyclopedia 3) e-Quidditch! 4) Crackpotteria

You have chosen 4) Crackpotteria. So you think you know the Wizarding World? Let’s have a quiz!

Question 1. What is the color of Ronald Weasly’s hair? a) Red b) Black c) White?

You have chosen a) Red. You are correct! You need 19 more correct answers to earn an OWL Badge!

Question 2. What color did Xerxes Potter’s nose turn in 1824? a) Red b) Black c) White?

Hint Badger: You seem to be hesitating. Would you like to peek at the article “The Potter family in wizarding history, 1750–1990”?

You have not unlocked the entry “The Potter family in wizarding history, 1750–1990”. Please unlock it!

You have chosen c) White. You are not correct! Do you want to restart?

Sorry! You have used up your free trial of Crackpotteria. To play more fun, exciting quizzes, and to view at least two monthly exclusive illustrations and sketches, you need to earn more Pottery Pottering Points!

Sorry! At the point in time, Pottery Pottering Points are only available through purchase.

You have added the item “10 Pottery Pottering Points” to your basket. Do you want to go to checkout?

Sorry! Pottermore does not deliver to your country.

Composing mail to “Customer service” (delishtears@pottermore.com)

You have new mail! Sender: exciting2@pottermore.com Subject: Have you read this? The Chamber of Secrets, by J. K. Rowling, is the exciting second volume in the bestselling Harry Potter saga! Read it now!

3 Responses to “Pottermore?”

  1. Harry Potter Info » Pottermore? « Masks of Eris Says:

    […] You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own […]

  2. Harry Potter Deathly Says:

    Harry Potter Deathly…

    […]Pottermore? « Masks of Eris[…]…

  3. harry potter and the sorcerer's stone Says:

    Rowling are now available in digital format. Harry Potter mesmerizes with his hidden magical powers that help him
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