More and less obscure religious stances

  • pantheism — God is the universe.
  • panentheism — God is in all parts of the universe; also possibly in other parts.
  • pantentheism — God is in all the panties of the universe; nowhere else.
  • rolypolytheism — God is that most perfect of shapes, a sphere. Which is a sphere of many gods, all of which are one GODBALL of infinite power.
  • dheism — Dheism is belief in Ghod.
  • ignosticism — agnosticism, but even more so.
  • apatheism — the state of not caring about God, God’s existence, etc. etc.
  • bahtheism — a militant form of apatheism; “Bah! I don’t care about no fucking gods!”
  • shramanism — shamanism without a spell check.
  • cordianism — “God is the cord that binds us all together.” Its opposite is discordianism, “Goddess is the cord that pulls us to stick apart”.
  • felinist theism — Cats are gods.
  • hyperfelinism — The Ceiling Cat is God. Hypofelinism is the negative of this, worship of the Basement Cat.
  • idiotheism — God is everyone’s personal business. (What?)
  • kleptheism — My-god has all the good stuff your-god had. Also, a crusade on the infidel your-god!
  • presbytopatriosphincterotheism — God is as wizened old assholes say God is.
  • pachytheism — God is thick-skinned; speculate away.
  • ophthalmotheism — God is in the eye of the beholder.
  • necrotheism — God is dead and buried. Get the shovels!
  • stochoskinetic theism — “The definition of God you have argued against is no longer the proper definition of God.”
  • galactotheism — According to a milk carton, God is lost in space. There is danger. We oughta get the robot and save Him before the Devourer of Worlds devours Him and then vours Him back. (A very marginal view of God. Leave a note (pictures, no writing) at the hobo junction behind Elm Street for more info.)
  • pangliatheism — Everything sticks to God; God sticks to everything. Richard Dawkins mentioned God? Why, Richard has deep faith, contrarywise expressed, in God, then, and spiritual thingies.
  • Exotheism — God is OUTSIDE.
  • Erythrodontonychotheism — God is cruel.
  • Cenotheism — God is deep stuff. Deep and subtle. With lots of subtle, subtle theology.
  • Coprotheism — That other guy’s God.
  • Cyclotheism — “God is defined as the Greatest Good. The Greatest Good is defined as God.”
  • Dekadaktylotheism — God is online, writing somewhere, or at least that’s what He says.
  • Egotheism — “I am God!”
  • Egoergotheism — “I am a self-made God!”
  • Egoergomaltheism — Charles Manson.
  • Ethnotheism — God with a funny hat.
  • Gymnotheism — Just God, no funny business, no vestments, no priests, just God. (Not to be confused with gynotheism (a working marriage) or pangynotheism (a marriage which does not work).)
  • Erologotheism — The belief that God is “so good”, “deeper”, “harder”, “oh”, etc. etc.
  • Megaturotheism — God is the Big Cheese.

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