Proposal for a universal blog feedback form

(From the desk of the Internet
Governance Authority Office,
Bern, Switzerland.)

PROPOSAL FOR

A UNIVERSAL BLOG FEEDBACK FORM

Indicate the main subject, as you have understood it, of the post you wish to provide feedback on.

  • dull selfcruft
  • cats
  • political / religious rant
  • fan fiction

(Note. All posts are reducible to a combination of the four choices above. See “No need for ‘news’; use rant plus fanfic”, V. Cerf, Internet Regents Pub. #5011 and “Computers are in the cat-egory”, L. Torvalds, IRP #91011)

I liked this post. Indicate reason:

  • clever
  • funny
  • same prejudices as me
  • cats

(Another note. Use cats plus clever for porn. It’s not the most obvious solution, but that’s what the moral guardians let us get away with.)

I did not like this post. Indicate reasons:

  • rude
  • depraved
  • rude and depraved
  • adult and infantile content
  • too peppy
  • subliterate trash
  • unwise naivete

(Note. Extensive testing indicates category 3, “rude and depraved” is necessary to reduce wear and tear in the checkboxes of categories 1 and 2. For dislike exceeding all reason, see the next comment prompt.)

I loathed your post. Why?

  • ura communist
  • UNCLEAN DEVIANT!!!
  • UR EXTRREMIST NUTTJOB!
  • GOATS ON FIRE

(Note. Category 4, “GOATS ON FIRE”, is reserved for the feedback of Prof. PZ Myers, leaving the remaining 3/4 of hatefeedback to be divided between the other three categories.)

I’m reporting your post. Reason(s):

  • racist / sexist / hate speech
  • slander / treason / insult unto the glorious republic of Gilead
  • PC gone mad! / annoying hipster iUser / I am cranky so fuck you all

(Note. In addition to these three, there is a fourth, “Other, What?” category. Its results will hopefully help to solve firemodem666’s conjecture that “There are four kinds of reportable offenses, and im not telling the 4th”; the SnotHouse IRC, 21st Jan 1998.)

You are the cancer that’s killing the Net. Specify:

  • annoying clueless newbie
  • bitter old grudgefart
  • demented baboon of hatred
  • unoriginal thief copypasta spammer
  • Lamar Smith (R-TX)

(Note. Categories self-explanatory; note that the word “baboon” is used so Creationists don’t tick all and bounce to “Send”. It is believed this outline finally adequately balances the needs of positive and negative feedback. The form should probably close with a salutation, such as below.)

“Your concerns are noted and stupid. Die in a fire and have a nice day! (choose one)”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s