A cat fantasy

Went to John Scalzi’s blog — famous blogger and sci-fi author; bacon hub of the universe — and saw he was looking for a new caretaker for his mother-in-law’s cat.

Said, “Great! Inspiration!”


“Look what’s on eBay. ‘JOHN SCALZI (WHATEVER)’S MOTHER IN LAWS CAT!!!’, for sale.”

“That’s strange.”

“I know! Like who would want to—”

“I mean, only 300 bucks? Is it fake?”

“Uh, there’s… there’s a picture of… right, someone holding the cat in one hand and, in the other… ugh, a black-and-white photo, taken with the biggest, blurriest scope the DEA ever had… a picture of Scalzi handing the cat to this creeper, it says it is. So it’s a John Scalzi-handled cat if nothing else.”

“That’s cheap! Let me sign in—”

“Wait. It’s not the whole cat.”

“Wait, what? This better not be what—”

“See? ‘This auction includes a signed print of the confirmation diptych and a tuft of authentic John Scalzi cat fur tied with an authentic wire from John Scalzi’s car.’ And there’s a dozen of these auctions! Poor bald cat.”

“Wait, signed by whom? Scalzi or this creep?”

“I would reckon… oh hey, Twitter. Scalzi is having car problems.”

“Must be those wires.”


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